A Vacation Can Be Good for the Pastor’s Heart

I recall asking our church board for some vacation time.  They always granted it (so I guess I should have felt blessed), but not without comments such as “Again?” or “I wish I could take some time off,” or “How many weeks have you taken this year already?”

We can easily fall into the trap of thinking that if we don’t take any time off the extra effort will reap positive results in the church.  The opposite is usually true. The old proverb says, “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.”  All work and no play for the pastor will likely make for a dull preacher, and an exhausted one as well.

I was fortunate that my church gave me four weeks of vacation a year.  In over 39 years at the church I took all four weeks every year and have never regretted doing so!

The following link is a great article on the subject by Stephanie Dyrness Lobdell. Enjoy, and begin planning that next vacation!

A Parable for Pastors

Once upon a time there were two carpenters in a village nestled in a valley. Each had a thriving business of providing furniture, wooden tools, buckets, and yokes for the farmers.

Father Langston, the long-time priest of the village church, knew both carpenters and their families well for they were a part of his church. Seeking to treat each family the same, his own humble home was furnished with an equal number of items from each man. He made regular pastoral calls to the carpentry shop of each, conversing with them on both mundane and spiritual subjects as they measured, sawed, nailed, and sanded their projects.

Father Langston noted a difference, however, between the two. Though both made and sold many items to the villagers, Brother Thomas sold more than Brother James and was able to provide his wife and family with luxuries that Brother James could not.

Brother James’ lower productivity was due to his habit of making a fine piece of furniture every year for his wife. His loving and careful crafting of the yearly gift left less time for him to make that which he might sell.

Father Langston noted one other difference, and this was in Brother James’ favor. Though Brother Thomas’ wife had luxuries Brother James’ wife did not, it was Brother James’ wife who clung close to her husband at church, glanced up at him with loving eyes, and seemed to be clothed with peace and contentment. Brother Thomas’ wife rarely glanced at her husband or held him close, being much distracted and busied with straightening her rich clothes and fondling her sparkling jewelery. Both men, he noted, felt a satisfaction that they were providing well for their wives.

One Sunday afternoon, after having visited both men at their carpentry shops the past week and having greeted each man and his wife after church that morning, he made an observation while he rested, drinking a cup of tea. Brother Thomas sold all he made to the villagers while Brother James had less to sell to the villagers because he spent much time and effort creating something as a gift for his wife, and yet it was Brother James and his wife who seemed happiest with each other.

What Father Langston took to heart from his Sunday afternoon observation was that he was a crafter of words as the two men were crafters of wood. Like the carpenters he was glad that people received gladly what he crafted, for he was, indeed, a great student of the Scriptures and an accomplished orator of the message he had prepared. But in spite of his great efforts as God’s pastor he felt distant from the God whom he served. His relationship with God, he now came to see, was more like the cool but respectful marriage of Brother Thomas and his wife. In the marriage of Brother James and his wife he saw a warmth, devotion, and closeness he yearned to have with God.

What Father Langston went on to ponder was how all of his praying, studying, reflecting, and crafting of God’s Word was for the benefit of the villagers. Like Brother Thomas, he never took any of it home. Little, if any of it, was simply a delightful gift to God who dwelt with him. He determined from that day forward that He would follow Brother James’ example.

Doing Pastoral Ministry in Stealth Mode

Some of the ministry we do should be kept a secret; it’s good for our soul! I didn’t always do this when I was pastoring. A call by a hospital chaplain awakened me from sleep in the middle of the night with the request that I come to see a parishioner of mine who was doing poorly. I dutifully got out of bed and made the visit to the hospitalized parishioner. The next day I would find myself working my nocturnal pastoral call into conversation with other parishioners. Then there were the times I felt I was going the extra mile to reach out to help someone, and, again, I would find a way to share the journey of the extra mile with others.

It’s a temptation to be our own pastoral public relationships department. During my ministry I now realize that I should have allowed myself to be reminded more often of these words of Jesus: “Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven. (Matthew 6:1) So much of what we do as pastors, by necessity, is done before others that we should work at lowering the percentage whenever we can.

In reflecting on this subject before putting fingers to keyboard I thought of suggesting that secrecy should be a spiritual discipline (and I believe that in some lists it is), but then I realized that secrecy is an inherent part of several of the spiritual disciplines. For instance, fasting is a spiritual discipline to which Jesus reminded us not to make a public display. Jesus also taught that the same goes for prayer and also in giving to the needy. These teachings by Jesus are also found in the previously referenced passage of Matthew 6, as you probably already knew.

It’s a difficult balancing act we face as pastors. On the one hand we’re to be an example to our flock, and how can we do so without them observing us? On the other hand we’re not to show off our spirituality.

Analyzing our motives is certainly one of the best tools to finding the right balance. Is the public knowledge of my action going to bring glory to me for what I’ve done or encouragement to others for what they can do?

We teach and preach that what we do should be done primarily because we love the Lord and want to serve and please Him. Sometimes the best way to bring home that message to ourselves as the teacher or preacher is to intentionally do some of our ministry in secret, to minister in stealth mode.

Just to Lighten Up Your Day

Prayer Under a Pine Tree

Actual pine tree that inspired the thought for this post

I was taking my morning walk the path of which took me under a pine tree. I hadn’t noticed the breeze until I stopped under the tree. It was the sound I heard first, the sound of the wind through the tens of millions of needles. Then I noticed how each of the multitude of needles on the ends of dozens of branches caught just enough of the breeze to, collectively, cause the branches to sway.

I was inspired to pray something to the effect, “Lord, even though I can’t see the wind, I hear it in the pine needles, and I see it in the moving pine branches. So blow through me with your Holy Spirit that those around me will hear and see you through me. Amen.”

Pastoring People from the Heart

This FROM A PASTOR’S HEART blog is all about nurturing our heart as a pastor. Our ministry is to be a ministry from the heart. The people to whom we minister have hurting hearts, and our most effective ministry happens when it is heart-to-heart ministry, our heart reaching out to their hearts.

It’s so easy in pastoral ministry to focus on relating to people, especially our leaders, in terms of goals, objectives, schedules, programs, and problem-solving. This results in a disheartening ministry, a leaving of the heart out of the ministry! It results in the people under our care, no surprise here, being disheartened. They deeply want to be seen first as a human being, not as a human doing.

I remember telling one youth pastor after another who served the youth in our church (we seemed to go through quite a number of youth pastors over the years) that the three most important aspects of being a youth pastor (or any other ministry role for that matter) are relationships, relationships, relationships! When I was retiring from pastoral ministry I didn’t have all that many people come up to me recalling some wise words I once taught them; what they reminisced about was the relationship we had over the years. In fact, they frequently referenced our relationship as friend to friend, not so much as pastor to parishioner.

I’ve come to realize that we pastors can focus on having a great teaching ministry, which is important, but, as Theodore Roosevelt said, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” I’ve also come to realize that if there’s a heart-to-heart connection with people they tend to extend more grace and mercy when you’ve goofed up or dropped the ball. Isn’t that what the apostle Peter was getting at when he wrote, “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins”? 1 Peter 4:8

One of the great challenges for a pastor is to make meaningful but brief contacts with a multitude of people before and after large or small group events. The few seconds we encounter a parishioner in the hallway or at a coffee hour is, for most of them, their few seconds to connect with us. Do they find us distracted, anxious to move on, or disinterested in them?

I was prompted to think about how I treat people whom I casually meet after reading an article by Douglas Groothuis in Christianity Today magazine titled, “Learning to Say Hello Again.” He concludes his article by stating, “It seems like a small thing, but it really isn’t. How we greet—or fail to greet—others says much about our character. But in the power of the Holy Spirit, we may practice the presence of people by acknowledging and recognizing them for who they are: creatures made in God’s image.”

Every person we meet has been made in the image of God; each has an eternal destiny. Groothuis quotes C. S Lewis in The Weight of Glory, “You have never talked to a mere mortal.” How will we treat, even in casual encounters, these beloved creatures of God made in His image and whom He loves?

Most of us have taught and preached on the opening and closing words of the apostle Paul’s letters where he expresses his heartfelt love for his readers. He does so with the Philippian Christians. I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart…” Philippians 1:3-7a

One of our ongoing prayers should be that we might have a heart for the people He’s put under our care. They need something more from us than our biblically based insights and teaching and our vision for the church (though they need this); they need for us to share our heart with them!